6 Dating Tips For YOU
Does dating get easier the older you get? It would be great if there were college courses on dating or proper dating etiquette. Unfortunately, there were no such courses in high school or college when we needed it the most. At least we have the internet today to get more information. A lot of us are just doing this dating stuff via trial and error. We pick things up here and there from our friends, TV or movies, and experiencing it. We just need to figure it out the best to our ability and hope it works. We hope that the person we are trying to connect with feels the same way; we hope they are intrigued with our quirks and demands.
Sometimes, people are late bloomers and don’t start to date until they are in their twenties. Like for me, in an Asian household, I was not allowed to date in high school. Then college was a time to get good grades, not the time to date. But then I graduated from college and my parents were wondering where their grandbabies were! My parents didn’t even talk to us about dating, let alone helping me in dating. As with most Asian parents, they expect you to get good grades, get a good job, and then mysteriously, they expect you to be married and have kids. My parents didn’t even let me wear make up and now they think I should be married with children? Anyway, I’m sure everyone has their own unique dating story and how their peers, parents, and friends have helped them with their dating life. Let’s talk about ways to improve your current dating life. Here are some dating tips this week as it pertains to our clients and some of their challenges with dating and getting that “spark” on dates.
1. TIME WASTERS. You have started chatting via email or texting. You haven’t met yet. You think he’s hilarious via text. Or he writes really thoughtful emails. You are now developing this relationship via text or email with this person and you haven’t even seen them in person yet. You are wondering what his voice is like, if he looks like his photos, and if he’d make a great husband. Stop fantasizing. Stop it right there. Stop wasting time texting and emailing each other and make a date to meet in person. After a couple of exchanges via text or email, if he doesn’t ask you out, it’s time to move on. This guy is wasting your time. They are probably talking to more than one woman at a time and keeping you on the back-burner. You don’t need a guy like that. He should be excited to meet you and ask you out. Halt the communications and focus on someone who is as excited to meet you as you are to meet him.
2. GET JAZZED. You have a date with someone. You go home and get ready for the date. You’re tired and don’t even really feel like going out. What should you do? You should turn on some loud music and have a dance party right before you leave. This way, you’ll get your energy up and be excited. Get jazzed to go out and you’ll have a great time. All you needed was a little pep in your step.
3. CORRECT ROLE “It’s really nice to offer to pay at the end of your date, but when the guy says he’s got it, let him get it. You don’t need to insist and fight him to the death, because you want him to be the gentleman and pay anyway. Just allow it, and say ‘thank you.’ Let him be the ‘take charge guy’ and ‘gentleman’ that you want him to be. Insisting on paying, once he has offered, takes that role away from him,” says Karli Greenstein, Matchmaker at Catch.
4. NOT QUIZ TIME. Sometimes men go out on a date and think it’s okay or funny to say things that are rude or unconventional to ‘test’ the woman. He might enjoy seeing how she responds or he is trying to be cool and unique. That is not necessary and it’s immature. If a man cannot go out on a date and be himself, maybe he is not ready to meet someone. He is going through the dating motions as a way to remind himself he’s trying and that he’s dating, but ultimately, he’s self-sabotaging. Immature question is something like this, “Are you lusting at those guys who are having dinner 10 feet away from us?”
5. DON’T BE CHEAP. If more than one person has called you cheap, suggested you were cheap, or commented that you were cheap, then chances are, you are cheap. How do you change that? You can order something else to drink aside from water. You can offer to pay for her valet. You can take her to a restaurant that has a waitstaff.
6. NO COFFEE. It can be difficult to have chemistry over lunch or coffee, which people often do with business associates, so opt for something more fun, where romance can develop like drinks, or appetizers, or even late night ice cream run. Chemistry can develop over time so don’t rule that out. Someone’s voice, the way they carry themselves, the way they act, the tone of their voice, etc. all plays into your attraction to him. Give it a chance to develop instead of writing him off after the 1st date because there were no immediate fireworks. Just like when you first made friends with your best girlfriends, you probably didn’t hit it off instantly. It took a few outings for you to know that you two were compatible as friends.
There you have it friends. These tips are supposed to help you become a better dater, someone who is more aware, more open, and ready to find someone. If you need more help with dating, contact us for a free consultation.