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Who Is Interested in Dating You?

September 9, 2015

Finding The Person Who Is Looking For You

We are so focused on who we are looking for and making a list that we forget or don’t pay attention to who is looking for us. After many attempts at trying to have relationships with the wrong people, you really need to analyze who you are really compatible with. Who is asking you out is who is looking for you. Who is emailing you online is who is looking for you. Who is saying yes and replying to your emails is who is looking for you. If you are constantly emailing the hot women and not getting a reply, then that is your first indication that they are not looking for you. If you are pursuing people who you find attractive and “winking” at them online and they are not responding, then they are not looking for you. Your odds of being in a relationship with someone and having the relationship last is higher if he or she is excited to meet you, too. Tricking someone into meeting you with an old photo and hoping he or she falls in love with you when he or she gets to know your awesome personality is not the best strategy. Has this strategy worked for couples out there who have gotten married? Yes, but it is not recommended.

You might think you want someone outgoing, who’s active, and super successful, but in reality, his or her goals might not be the same as yours: wanting to start a family, have time to attend your work functions, or cook for you. I was talking to a client the other day. He realizes that his long term goals of starting a family soon and that he doesn’t need or want someone with a high power job. He has dated the lawyers, doctors, and such and they were all too busy. In fact, he’s now telling us to search for women who don’t have demanding jobs, because based on his past two years of dating, he thought he wanted the corporate type A person, but they just don’t have time for him. He wants someone who will make starting a family a priority. He wants her profile to say she wants that as a goal in the next few years. Someone who says that in their profile is a plus. He found that women who want children, but are climbing the corporate ladder is not a match for him. Also, someone who says they are OPEN to having children is not good enough. He wants her to KNOW that she wants to have children and says YES on her profile on wanting children. Which brings up a good point. Majority of the men we work with who know they want a family only want to be matched with women who also say YES on wanting to have children. So, if you want to have children, say so in your profile. Don’t say you are OPEN to having children if you really are leaning towards NO. Many men and women have been ‘burned’ by someone who said he or she was OPEN to having children and then years into their marriage or relationship, he or she admits that he or she really don’t want to or had a change of heart. Part of what’s great about our jobs as matchmakers is that if we know a woman really wants children and she’s a firm YES on that, we make sure to tell the men who she meets that she wants to have children. She is not a MAYBE on having kids so if he is not 100% feeling that way, too, then let’s not waste time. They shouldn’t meet. It’s best to be honest!

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