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Dating Tips For Savvy Daters

March 18, 2010 0 Comments

Hi Everyone, shutterstock_129289046
We welcome questions about dating all the time. Here are a few we’ve received recently that we figure we can address this month. Enjoy.

1. I’m doing online dating for the first time ever. What kind of pictures should I post?

If you are doing online dating, have a friend of the opposite sex choose which photos you should post. Make sure there is a headshot, full body shot, and a couple of ones which show you are smiling.

2. My friends and I are always going for happy hour on Friday nights after work. I spot a cutie every now and then but don’t know how to approach him. I can’t even get the nerve to do it when he’s alone. Any suggestions?

You are with your entourage at a bar on a Friday night. You spot a cutie sitting alone. You are pretty sure the cutie sees you and might even be interested. What should you do? Well, the rule of thumb is if you have a “sighting,” seize the moment. The person who is NOT alone should go up to the cutie who is. The one who isn’t alone has moral support: friends to egg him/her on or comfort him/her should the mission fail. Therefore, the one with support should take the risk! (This rule goes for both sexes.) Simply walk up to him, smile, and give him a compliment (nice shirt, nice tie) and ask him a question, “Where did you get it?”

3. I’ve been chatting on a phone a couple of times with this great gal I met and we’ve not gone out yet. I’m nervous about how she is in person. Any tips on making a great first impression to break the ice?

On your first date, give your date a hug when you greet her. You’ve already agreed to meet…so, there is no better ice-breaker than a hug. A handshake is so impersonal. Oh yeah, and smile! Women love genuine compliments. There must be one thing that will stand out when you meet her that you like, say so!

4. I had a great first date with a woman a met recently. I want to ask her out again. Is it appropriate to text or email her for the second date? I’m afraid of rejection.

Do not text a woman to ask her out. Be a gentleman: pick up the phone, call her, and have a place in mind. Actually, don’t bother calling if you don’t have a place or day(s) in mind!!
Women like a take charge kind of guy. Tell her what a great time you had the first time and that you would like to take her out again. Don’t say, “hang out again.” You are an adult, this isn’t high school. Admit that it’s a date and it’ll be appreciated.

5. I am not very “think-outside-the-box” so I like the usual chain restaurants. Is it tacky to take a date to a chain restaurant?

In Los Angeles, there are so many restaurants. Your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant or your cozy neighborhood place is a better choice than a chain restaurant. Same goes for a coffee shop if you decide to do a coffee date. Check out some of the moderately priced restaurants before you even have a first date scheduled. Do some research by asking single guy friends who date with taste that you admire. A great dater in LA should have five nice places to take a woman.

6. I have been out on dates with men recently and they seem like they are not interested in me or the conversation is awkward. How do I get him to talk more or at least be more engaged in our conversation?

Women love when we get asked questions. It shows interest! Men sometimes don’t realize this. You should ask him open-ended questions and hopefully, he’ll reciprocate. If you feel like you’re doing most of the talking, just say, “Gosh, I feel like I’ve been doing so much talking. I want to get to know you more. Tell me about you.” Hopefully, the guy will take the hint. For women and men, don’t lie or exaggerate the truth. It will come back to haunt you later!

7. Where and when’s the best place to meet my future partner?

Seeking a partner is not just reserved for Friday and Saturday nights from 8-11pm. All day and any place are the time and place to meet someone. You are missing human contact with the person right next to you in the elevator or waiting in line at the grocery story if you are obsessed with your phone and checking your emails.

8. I can’t afford a matchmaker, what is another alternative?

Hiring a matchmaker is basically having a third party screen for you, keep an eye out for you, and looking for a great match for you 24/7. You can find your own matchmakers and that’s by letting a few people you trust in your life know you are single and are looking. Tell them what you are seeking in an ideal partner and qualities are important to you. Tell them that you are open to being set up with someone they think might be a good match for you. If the date turns out to be a disaster, let them know it wasn’t a match and thank them….but whatever you do, do not get insulted and yell at them for trying to find a match for you.

9. When do you think a couple should have the exclusivity talk?

It’s great when your relationship is on such a natural course that it just happens…you have long talks into the night, you fall in love almost immediately, and you spend weeks together being romantically involved, but not physically involved yet. However, if it’s not all rose petals and sunshine, then the best time to bring it up is before you sleep together. If you are mature and want this person to be something more than a one night stand, then you should wait until the time feels right to discuss it. If you jump into bed too soon, men will put you in the “have fun for now” category and not the “potential wife” category (as we all heard it first hand at the Man Panel event in March 2010). Believe it.

10. I have a question for you. Where do I send it?

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