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How Honest Are You in Your Online Dating Profile

September 11, 2015

Speaking of being honest, are you completely honest in your profile about hobbies and interests?

Are You Who You Say You Are?

We had a client go out on a date last week with a woman who’s profile sounded fantastic. She stated that she did many of the things that he likes to do. But, the date quickly went sour when he realized she was not who she said she was in the profile when it came to talking about their hobbies and interests. On your dating profiles, list the things that you really do on an ongoing basis. If you hike, hopefully the last time you went hiking was one or two weeks ago. Nothing is more frustrating for men to go out with women who lists their hobbies as “hiking, working out, running, tennis, etc.” only to go on the date and he finds out the last time she went hiking was four months ago; or that she works out once a week doing yoga (which he said didn’t even count as a work out); or she used to run when she was younger before her knee injury but she doesn’t anymore. You get what I’m saying. Represent your true self on a dating profile. If you would like to do more hiking, working out, tennis, etc., then say that in your profile.

What about if you want to date someone who’s not like you, but you hope their personality or hobbies will rub off on you? Or what about if you want to date someone so you can be more like that person?

Sometimes introverts want to hang out or date extroverts because they want to be more outgoing. If you’re more of an introvert and you are seeking an extrovert, you need to more outgoing or at least comfortable on a one-on-one basis. It’s okay if you don’t do well in a group setting with people you are unfamiliar with, but you should at least be talkative and come out of your shell when it’s just you and your date. By becoming more of an extrovert, I’m not telling you to be obnoxiously loud or be someone you are not. You need to have interesting things to say or stories to tell that will capture his or her attention. The stories can be about funny events that have happened when you were growing up that you can talk about if he or she asks about your family. It can be about a hobby you enjoy that you did something embarrassing. Stay away from stories that make you sound like you are bragging. No one wants to hear how you are the youngest CEO at your company or how you bought a house when you turned 27 years old. You know what I mean. Be talkative. Maybe you have to fake it until you make it. Keep practicing chatting away until it becomes natural for you to be outgoing. Another way to make you sound more exciting is how you communicate….

People who speak monotone or in a matter of fact way need to have some more energy in the way they converse with their dates. Nothing makes him or her snooze or write you off in the friend zone quicker than a boring monotone guy or girl. If you don’t have some energy or excitement in your tone (and practice smiling while you are talking), it’s going to make her or him feel bored. It’s okay to use some hand gestures when you tell a story. It’s great to raise your voice a little bit if you are trying to make a point. It’s fantastic when you talk about something with enthusiasm.

So, I hope these few things will help you with your dating life and shed some light on how men and women think. Of course, these are just some examples we came up with…they are not the rule and there are some exceptions. Don’t be sending me hate emails just because you disagree with what I said. Though, it would still be nice to hear from you if you disagree with me. These are some real life examples that happened on dates with our clients and things we hear from daters out there. We hope your dates this weekend are awesome! That’s what makes dating so much fun. You go out on a bad date and you have something to share on social media or with your friends. You go out on a great date and you think about him or her the next day, smile, and you’re nice to your co-workers. Either way, on every date, you learn something about you, the opposite gender, or about a new venue.

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